Creative Hard Worker Gets 0% Bonus


Katie Jones of the procurement department was awarded 0 bonus because she did not complete her totally outdated and irrelevant objectives, it has emerged.

Despite delivering on 3 outstanding and highly valued projects in the last year, the work was not inline with the cascaded objectives set my her manager in the last Performance and Development (P&D) cycle.  The objectives, set 6 months previously, were demonstrably out of date and not relevant to the fluid business situation facing the firm.

At the P&D review, manager John Smith said: “well there was nothing I could do; the objectives were written in black and white and crystal clear”.

Katie’s office neighbour, smug faced and career minded Oliver James,  delivered all of his objectives to the letter: he got a huge payoff.  Boss John said that the work was “outstanding” and “demonstrated a huge potential for compliance: he would one day be prime executive material”.

Katie later promised to her friends that next year she would just sit around and deliver the minimum possible effort in line with her outdated job description. This is satire; nothing here is true.

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