Laughable: Executive Communication Equivalent to 4 Year Old Children

Analysis of executive level emails has revealed a shocking fact: most internal emails between the different executives are related only to petty infighting with each other.

PhD students studying executive behaviours asked some of the biggest blue chip companies in the world, if they could use Big Data to analyse the way in which business critical problems were solved.

Post Graduate researcher John Smith, was shocked at the result: “We analysed 100,000s of emails by running them though the computer.  We correlated 87.4% of the language as equivalent to that of age 4 kindergarten children arguing over toys”.

Brother and sister having an argument

When challenged on this finding a Senior Vice President of a large international technology company simply responded: “well those guys in procurement are just incompetent, their department should just be integrated into mine”.

A comparison between the blue chips and a host of exponentially growing and disruptive mid sized, companies demonstrated a huge difference.  At the disruptive companies, the researchers discovered much more of the language that correlated with emotional intelligence and collaboration.

“It’s really disappointing to discover that large company culture has created the perceived need to act in such a childish way,  or perhaps it just attracts those kind of people.” Said John.  This is satire; nothing here is true.

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