An employee at a large aerospace company has finally gone insane and exploded after being exposed to years of corporate stupidity. The last straw was the realisation that his innovative project was stuck in an endless loop of pointless bureaucracy. The man, who wanted to discuss a simple but critical topic with his supplier, was blocked … Continue reading Spontaneous Combustion Result Of Loop Of Stupidity
So says reformed criminal Rodney Jones, who spent 12 months at an open prison and now works at an automotive company as an administrative assistant. "At prison I got 3 meals in a day, I had time to reflect on things and I got to learn. Here I just sit and watch the clock while … Continue reading Work Less Stimulating Than Prison Says Ex-Con
Innovators at a multinational company have devised a novel solution to the problem of an excessive number of executives and middle managers. The 'management', typically in their 50s or older, have been criticised for costing too much, blocking progress, maintaining silos, infighting, and generally not living up to the company's own stated values. The solution: … Continue reading Executives and Managers Finally Find Purpose
Insurance company LAXIAL, which has spent years encouraging its employees to become more 'authentic', has seen the number of people quitting skyrocket. 5 years ago, the company began to encourage people to go on a journey of 'self realisation'; to cast away their professional facades and discover who they really were. Amongst the many quitters … Continue reading Personal Authenticity Campaign Results In Mass Exodus
Analysis of executive level emails has revealed a shocking fact: most internal emails between the different executives are related only to petty infighting with each other. PhD students studying executive behaviours asked some of the biggest blue chip companies in the world, if they could use Big Data to analyse the way in which business … Continue reading Laughable: Executive Communication Equivalent to 4 Year Old Children
A man given a nomination letter to run a project, has failed to attract any followers, it has emerged. The 'high potential future leader' of the company, John Smith, was unilaterally nominated to run the project by the board of executives. A move seen at the working level as deeply unpopular and symptomatic of the … Continue reading Man With Nomination Letter Fails To Attract Followers
An investigation was launched at a large metal commodities company: a young man, who was promoted to 'team leader', did not arrive on the next day transformed into a suit wearing, KPI demanding psychopathic police enforcer, as was normally the case. By 1100 in the morning the global supply of metal commodities had ground to … Continue reading SHOCK! Millennial Manager Causes Mayhem at Firm
A company that asked its employees to define their shared values has discovered a surprising result. The firm has realised that it is the least ambitious company in the history of the world. Staff had the choice of numerous nouns describing values including: passion, ambition, collaboration, inspiration, agility, fun. Employees could also propose options which would … Continue reading Company Values Exercise Exposes Total Lack Of Ambition
In line with a trend sweeping corporations across the globe, A 300 year old banking company has launched a 'diversity' program to help increase innovation. The company faces an existential threat in the form of cryptocurrency. The executive group are all white males, ranging in age from 60 to 65, were all educated at Oxford, … Continue reading Diversity Initiative The Answer To BLOCKCHAIN Threat.
An employee who is well known for rigorously following processes, has reportedly been stuck in an endless loop for 4 days. The crisis occurred upon visiting the toilet; the employee found that the male toilets symbol was missing the head. The worker, who seems to have lost all power of common sense thanks to his … Continue reading Stuck In The Process: The Extreme Loss Of Common Sense
Managing Spaghetti 