Proof: End of month reporting frenzy detrimental to your health

Big data analytics has revealed a new insight into corporate life: sick days at the beginning of the month are directly linked to end of month reporting. An AI system at a large product development company has made this correlation after data scientist Brian Watkins decided to look into staff attendance data as a joke. … Continue reading Proof: End of month reporting frenzy detrimental to your health

Yucca Plant Considers Suicide Due To Lack Of Empathy In The Office

A Yucca plant is seriously considering suicide after being constantly subjected to office politics, it has emerged. "I'm at the end", said the plant.  "It's simply too much.  One minute Sally is nice to James, then as soon as his back is turned, she moans to her other colleagues about his repetitive and dull story … Continue reading Yucca Plant Considers Suicide Due To Lack Of Empathy In The Office

It’s Official: Talking About Doing Things Is Now More Important Than Actually Doing Things.

A company has decided to award bonuses for talking instead of delivering. Many employees now feel fully vindicated that their calendars, already full of pointless hours worth of talking, are now truly worthwhile. Hot Air Producer Andreas Prigge claimed, "I am number one in this company for creating meetings about meetings. I take real pride in … Continue reading It’s Official: Talking About Doing Things Is Now More Important Than Actually Doing Things.

Keen young hopeful drops dead while following plan for ‘successful’ people

A young woman who was sure she was headed for the top, has been found dead at her desk, it has emerged. The tragedy is that Katie Jones, was found with her laptop open and displaying line after line the following statement: "all work and no play will make Katie a super CEO one day". … Continue reading Keen young hopeful drops dead while following plan for ‘successful’ people

Talent Program Exposed As A Cloning Program

A large high tech business has been in hot water with the Health and Safety Executive after a whistle-blower claimed that their 'talent development program' was actually a 'CEO clone development program'. For years it seems that talents were subjected to brainwashing, drugging and corporate challenges to see how closely they could replicate their aging … Continue reading Talent Program Exposed As A Cloning Program

Man Who Wants To Solve Problems Told To Go Home

A man who desperately wants to solve a problem that will make customers happy, has a been told to clock off at 1700 sharp because there are not enough hours available on the booking code. Meanwhile, his employer has hired an extra 1000 staff to control the spend of each department.  They are called 'financial controllers'.  The … Continue reading Man Who Wants To Solve Problems Told To Go Home

Company Uses The Truman Show As Inspiration For Middle Management Problem

An ambitious CEO who wanted to create massive cultural change has come up with a very innovative method. New CEO, Jane Fox, entered a company that was highly resistant to change.  Previous efforts to bring about cultural change had been plagued by a very comfortable layer of middle management who did not see the need … Continue reading Company Uses The Truman Show As Inspiration For Middle Management Problem

Man Spontaneously Declares Himself Competent Because He Starts Doing Something.

In a world of complex competence management systems, employee Marcellin Bertin has had the courage to claim that he can do something and therefore is competent. This has lead to an immense outcry and the threat of disciplinary action by his company's HR department, who claim that they are the ones who know about competence and … Continue reading Man Spontaneously Declares Himself Competent Because He Starts Doing Something.